It was such a large nothingness that Luca wondered if he was dead. He realized he wasn’t when he thought that. If he was having thoughts then he was...’t dead.‘Get up,’ he thought. ‘Get up, get up, get up!’ he thought wildly, repeating his incantation. The soft, melodic, beautiful notes continued to play in his head, coming to a crescendo, playing louder and louder internally as the music reached its peak, it picked up, grew beautifully louder and more magnificent. It blurred out all the white. He had contemplated having an affair with Mary many times, but he knew that once she had said no, she meant no. If she broke off the relationship, you didn’t get a second chance. Plenty of other blokes had learned that the hard way and he wasn’t totally stupid.To be honest with himself, he knew that Janet suited him. He had come to love her and didn’t want to lose her, so he had kept his fantasies about Mary to himself. The fact that Mary had never had any kids was important to him, as it was. "Some women can't ... during the act that is," I said."Perhaps, but I've always gotten so close ... but no coconut as it were. Mostly it's the guys whom I allow just being selfish bastards, I think," she said."I'm sure Mr Right, if you ever meet him, will be good for you in that way," I said."I'm sure he will, but at the moment Mr Gigolo would do, if he can show me what it's really all about," she said, putting her head on my shoulder."You should be careful what you wish for Bonnie," I replied. "I'm no politician," she made excuses not to run. If she did and won, they'd expect her to give special favors for them. "Don't you have to be twenty-five to run for that office. She recalled that she learned this back in high school when she took a civics class."Look!" Ida took charge of the meeting. "Abbot just won this year's election. For twenty years he's been just a bump on a log sitting there collecting PAC money and never introducing a bill. He hasn't helped our district but he hasn't.
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